The Traveling Salesman Algorithm: Almost Entirely Incorrect

The Traveling Salesman Algorithm was the brainchild of brilliant mathematician and soap salesman, R. Paulson. Mr. Jones developed his algorithm in 1986, while going door to door in the deep south. The algorithm is a mathematical method of determining exactly how much soap he should bring with him for a trip, based upon a number of predictable variables, such as city size, average income, and regional liposuction rates. His algorithm proved so successful that he ultimately used it to help develop a distribution plan that led to his becoming one of the most successful soap tycoons in the 20th century.

Since his passing, the algorithm has been adapted to include various variables, and many different applications have been developed. Ultimately the algorithm has been modified to predict local crime rates, increased ER visits, and higher income for both dentists and cosmetic surgeons. While these things may seem to be completely unrelated, the Traveling Salesman Algorithm has proven excellent at proving positive correlations between seemingly unrelated variables.

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